Trapped in Cambodia....

...but have finally escaped! Yes, yes, currently in the lovely confides of Laos (or Loase, as the Americans say) for the second day, after far too long in Cambodia.

Why is this? Due to the fact my passport was happily sitting on the desk of some bureaucratic crazed civil servant at the Chinese Embassy, it took nearly a full month to obtain a visa for China. Great. After all that, didn't even end up with a 3 month business visa, nor a 3 month tourist visa, but simply a 30 tourist visa. AGH! But, what little shenanigans did we get up to whilst waiting for the vehicle by which I can be internationally mobile...

Sihanoukville

Yes, the pink and glitter party was a stormer - as was my hangover. Basically, a crew of 11 of us managed to stagnate 11 days away in Snooky, punctuated with drunken nights, a couple of 'day trips out' and watching lots of DVDs. Very cultural, don't you think? Hannah, Rachel, Beth (3 girlies from Manchester), Georgie and Arran (a cute - engaged - couple from Norwich), Charlie and Michelle (an odd but lovely couple from London), Freddie and Sam (lovely boys from London) and Charlie (cap wearing chappie, also from London), and of course, Chloe and I, became the Monkey Republic 'Massive'. Oh yes, when there was noise in the bar - we were there. We managed to pick the choppiest day on the ocean to organise our 'group outting' to a little island off Snooky, 'Bamboo island.' The first 10 minutes were great, but as the boat rocked us all nearly overboard, and indeed, Chloe actually nearly went in, but unfortunately didn't and only obtained a stinker of a bruise on her arse, we realised that maybe it wasn't the best idea. Especially when the bottle of gin was handed round with the misnomer, 'its only water....'.

Another lovely day out was to the waterfall...we all munched on our pack lunch of sandwiches and crisps (very English), then minced around like little nymphs with flower garlands on our heads and soaked in the ambiance of the gushing waterfalls, despite being nearly washed away by the water flow!! EEK! A little bit of a Full Moon party went down at the 'legendary' Sessions, a shed on the beach but played good music, and we stormed 'Hannah's Castle' and had a lovely time singing 'Rule Brittania' from the top at the minions below (allegedly, I do not personally recall). A wickedly hairy game of 'Ring of Fire' well and truly killed us off another night, but it was all finished off in true Monkey style with another themed party - "Seaside". My god, there were many an amazing costume...from Jelly Fish (Georgie), Shark (Arran), Palm tree (Chloe) and of course, and incredible feat of engineering, car paint spray and fluffy bobbles (sea urchins...), and shells, I was a ship wreak!!! And that's not the only type of wreak I was by the end of the night...there was copious amounts of shaving foam and acrylic paint...on faces, feet, clothes, hair,..and somewhat more artistically, on the guy's guitar that he wanted accessorising! Hurrah! Think I may have ended up talking to a Buddha statue at the end of the night though....maybe I'll get to Nirvana yet.

THEN WE LEFT!! My goodness, it was the worst bus journey back to Phnom Pehn in our lives, still clad in our pyjamas, thank god we didn't look in the mirror. ROUGH. And since my camera was stolen in Snooky, a new one was in order, so a nice Nikon is now by my side. So, I mooched around Phnom Pehn to recapture some piccies, then hit the road to Battambang, a town in the North-East of Cambodia for the weekend, whilst Chloe and the girles made their way to Laos (I, of course, didn't have my passport. Hmm).

Battambang

Arrived to torrential rainfall, so looked truly trainspotter in my pink anorak and glasses. Get settled into a nice little guest house and then went off to explore the town...and found the most scrumptious cafe that sold the sweetest, warm, sticky Cinnamon swirl, ever, YUM. Awoke bright and early at 6am on Sunday morning, the day of Cambodian elections. Zipped through the countryside on the back of a moto, through the villages around Battambang, and it was great to see so many locals turn out to vote. Clambered up a giant hill to reach Phnom Sampeau, a temple crowning one of the only mountains in the area. It was converted into a torture chamber during the Khmer Rouge's reign, with people being pushed down into a cave, creating another mass grave of innocent people. Then up many, many stairs to Wat Banan, a temple known as 'mini - Angkor ', which was nice to get some pictures of, and gave amazing views of the surrounding lush green plains and rice paddies below. On the way back to town, my guide managed to give me a sneaky lesson on how to drive a motorbike...with gears!! It was brilliant, cruising through the villages, honking my little horn so the cows know I'm scooting past. Good driver apparently! Hurrah! New hobby...??? Then the afternoon was whiled away pottering around Battambang, exploring the local Wats and chattering away to the monk that live inside - mainly composed of English classes and punctuation correction!

Monday - travelling mission day. Back to Phnom Pehn at 6am...arrive at 1pm and am, at the DHL office collecting my passport, and at Vietnam Airlines by 1.30pm...booked at flight to Vientiane, Laos, and on the plane at 3.30pm. Laos at 5pm. Done. Next.

Oh wait - Vientiane appears to be completely full and I wander around in the rain for over an hour trying to find a bed. Soggy. Lovely. Met a nice chap from Haiti, who now lives in Jamaica, but it all got a bit surreal when he began to tell me he loved me, wanted to be his woman, oh no, wait, his wifey, and that we were destined to be together. Yeah. Right.

Next day, went to the biggest attraction in Vientiane with a couple of girls I met on my flash-packer flight to Laos, Pha That Luang, a large, golden temple. Lovely. Then hopped on the bus to Vang Viane to catch up with the ladies for tubing times...BRING IT ON!!!

Cambodian Capers

Sweating. Profusely. Beer sweats. Meat sweats. Wearing of man-made fibres induced sweats. The beads that collect on the brow of both myself and Klobo (albeit that they are more copious in amount for Klomosexual. Sweaty bitch. haha), seem to be gathering in number. It is a little disturbing to wake in a puddle and breath in the refreshing stench of must which clings to your pink primark seahorse pyjamas. Or is that just me? No, definitely Chloe too.

Anyway, that is just a little observation I thought I would share. So, what adventures have the Kloster and I been getting up to? We last left you in Kratie. An interesting place. No cold milk for your tea, which is frustrating. Simply a town that's focal point was a market, that due to the rain had a murky, grey moat surrounding it that you had to wade through in order to get anything. And flip-flops flick water/mud/dirty oozy ming all up your legs. But, we decided that eating from the market was the true traveller style, so we selected some hubble bubble from some big silver pans and treated our self to a freshly cooked fish (head and tail and EVERYTHING). Tasty as you like, perched on a wall in the twilight, with the mozzies gnawing at our ankles.

And then we went to see the e Irrawaddy dolphins of the Mekong River. These are funny looking things that are super endangered (only about 80 or so knocking about in the river!). It was so lovely to just sit on the lake (obviously in a long boat) and dolphin spot - one even gave us a little wave! But what was equally as enjoyable and interesting was the motorbike ride to the river through the Cambodian villages. I've come to realise that my blogs perhaps do not truly describe the places that we are visiting and the cultures we are being exposed to, so here is a little 'Reflections on Cambodia' that I penned whilst on a 12 hour (bumpy and lacking leg-space) bus journey...(yes, yes, no sudden deviations to travel writer for me!):

Ít is very humbling to see children engulfed in happiness though simple pleasures: running along with an old tyre; playing the drums with a cluster of empty plastic petrol canisters; a stone to throw and catch. To have the liberty to tinker about naked, dancing about to the rhythms and rhymes in their own imagination. To exercise a naive curiosity and enthusiasm for the unknown and to engage with it through squeaking "goodbye", "hello", and "good day!" to you as you sail through their village on the back of a motorbike - the quintessential way to soak up the sights.
The village. It appears, from the wind whisked backseat of the tantalisingly liberating back seat of a motorbike, as well as from behind the restrictive pane of the public bus, that villages are composed of wooden houses, laid upon stilts in order to elevate their dry sanctuary from the clutches of the pools of rainy season's milk (hmm...getting a bit keen on the creative writing here). 'Shops', consisting of the packets of noodles, jars of sweets and copious amounts of a single form of fruit or vegetable sprinkle the stretch of road. Children, dogs, cows (or rather, buffalo) and chickens amble freely amongst the wooden frames. Perhaps the freshest, most organic fruit and veggies are those that we gorged on here, for this is an agrarian country, with over 80% of the population being farmers. Durian fruit, lychees, bananas, soft coconut, jack fruit, Cale and corn. And rice. Lots of rice. There is an abundance of food, on every street corner, at every market, at every turn. Silver pots of mysterious liquids, grills of fish, chicken, pork and beef. Perhaps this is very much the indulgence of a people who suffered such severe starvation under a cruel 'revolutionary' regime but only 30 years ago. And their faces are beautiful - the most elegant ad open of all those in SE Asia I have had the pleasure to see. Round and inquisitive, with a clear, soft skin, giving a deceiving impression of youthfulness in cases which may not hold for other nationalities. A willingness to break into a brilliant smile when invited by a flash of mutual pleasure from oneself.

So how was that? Sickly or insightful? Fancied cracking out some creative writing skills, but hope that they gave you some insight into what it is like here. If not, there are plenty of pictures on facebook!

And then further north we went to the east of Cambodia - Rattakiri province. Banlung City is the provincial capital of ratanakiri province in Cambodia 's mountainous northeastern corner. And we were there for elephants!! Hurrah! Yes, we got them, but it was not easy. Firstly, we again had first hand experience or the distinct lack of road Cambodia on occasion boasts. And sitting at the back of the bus was an error, for it is amazing how high you can fly outta your seat when you hit a particularly generous pot-hole in the road. And we broke down. Twice. It took hours and it rained. Continuously. And in Ban Lung there seems to be but a sea of rich, red earth, that in torrential downpours turns into a red lava that inhibits cars (and definitely buses) from getting to where they want to be. Even better when you are on the back of a motorbike and you suddenly realise how far over you are leaning....but i didn't fall off. Thank the Lord. And elephant riding in the jungle was AMAZING!! We trekked through rubber plantations and then zipped our way around several beautiful waterfalls and then swam in a gorgeous big lake - and it was sunny all afternoon! Hurrah!

Then we had to take on the 12 hour bus journey back and down to Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia. 0 leg room and a big bag of lychees. Heaven, surely? But Phnom Penh was really cool - our guest house looked out onto a big lake that looked magical with the reflection of fairy lights dancing upon it. And we continued to be good travellers and walked lots along the waterfront and around the markets the first day, then missioned all the sights in one whole day. The most upsetting and sobering experience was visiting S-21. This was a school that was converted into a high-security prison during the Pol Pot, Khmer Rouge regime, and basically was a secret prison of torture and, invariably, death. It was sickening to walk through the prison cells that were once rooms of education and see the metal frames that had held so many innocent people whilst incomprehensible torture was inflicted on them. And each person - child, woman, man - had a photo taken on admittance to S-21. All these portraits were mounted on boards in other prison cells, and it was just simply so upsetting to see all the faces and know what was in store for them. If they did not perish within the confides of S-21, there were lorried out of Phnom Penh to the 'Killing Fields'. Mass graves were dug, sometimes by the victims themselves, before they are shot or hit on the skull. We went to the Killing fields after going around the prison, and a weird, eerie atmosphere resided there. More than 17,000 civilians were killed and buried in mass graves. This place is a chilling reminder of the brutalities of the genocidal Khmer Rouge regime. In the center of the area is a 17 story glass stupa which houses 8000 skulls exhumed from mass graves. Really tough experience. And then we went to the Royal Palace, which wasn't quite so emotionally difficult.

Party time, party time!! Yip, yip, yip - with Klo celebrating her 22nd year of gracing the planet, it was time to get to Sihanoukville, the seaside party place of Cambodia. I mean, after all that traveller education, a holiday by the seaside was well in order. Boozy banter as to be expected, but last night was particularly special. Klo's birthday party. After meeting Leroy in Malaysia, who happens to own the coolest guesthouse in Snooky, an order of a 'Pink and Glitter Party' was requested for Klo. And it was AMAZING!!!! Flyers, balloons and pink Sooooooooo much pink (and we mean, shocking pink) and copious amounts of glitter....a hardcore got really in the swing of things - babies (yes, girlies in nappies with pink bonnets), boys in pink hotpants and sporting pink plastic guitars, or having a bustle of flowers flowing behind you...or just being barbie with a dash of trannie (Klo and I)...and throw in a surprise chocolate brownie cake (sooo tasty) and a few pink cocktails and you are well away!!! Soooooooooo much fun!! But soooooo wasted! Hahaha! And there looks as though there has been a pink glitter bomb that has erupted across of shed of a room. I don't want to go back in there....

A home vs the road, and other issues...

My cousin lives in Pattaya, our next stop after Bangkok. It would be rude not to pop by and grab a wee bit of free accommodation. And the opportunity to be in a house. Not a hostel, or a guest house or a scummy something between the two...but a house. A home. With a kettle so you can just make a lovely brew when you feel like it. And watch dvds and pick dog hairs from off your pyjama bottoms...and run to the corner shop at 2am in the middle of a thunder storm because you need biscuits to really crown this Nirvana. And it was so lovely to see my big cousin, Ashley, and successfully get him to speak to his grandma (albeit after several beers) and act as a covert spy on behalf of the rest of the family to which we belong. And his dog is funny.

Greeted by a grinning Ashley, a fairly strapping, tattooed (naturally - it is Thailand) and a little bit burnt lad, sat astride a small, mint Vesper was a joy to see. Especially when he took off his very fetching helmet to reveal ginger hair (not natural by any means)...hahahaha. An excellent experience with the local beauty salon, evidently. A good night out was to be had, beginning with an introduction to Ashley's bar, 'Çrocodile Bar', where a spot of whiskey was enjoyed, before we were whisked off to his friend's bar where the party of the night was taking place. Oh yes. Surreal is perhaps what some people would call it. Picture your/a local boozer. I mean the locals. The hardcore locals. Basic demographics being male, 50 years+, balding, tattoos and, well, a substantial gut. Captured your imagination? Sprinkle in several tiny, skinny, Thai ladies (yip, these are the chappies' ladies/wives), Thai karaoke (a very happy Klo) and more whisky. Bloody mental. Thank goodness I was hammered, as it all seemed highly amusing at the time. And it was. But slowly, as the next couple of days progressed (which we mainly spent sleeping post-Thailand mayhem), it dawned on us that we were in fact the only Caucasian, females of the age of early-twenties in the entire bloody place and that everyone else fitted the description as above. The sex capital of Thailand. I felt slowly that my heart and soul were corroding with simply being there. Honestly, it was fine. I sound dramatic, but we felt drained by the time we left. But. One thing can definitely be said. Having a Sunday roast was the happiest I think I have felt in ages. A carvery and LOADS of fresh veggies...and don't forget the gravy!! AND THEN, we munched our way through an enormous apple crumble and custard. Bare in mind that two of the guys who were eating with us couldn't finish their main meal! WE ARE PIE MUNCHERS!! And we went fishing too! That was fun fun fun! Klo and I caught a BIG FISH (10 Kilos apparently) all by ourselves!

Next stop - Cambodia. People had mentioned that the journey to Siem Reap in Cambodia from Thailand was hell. Didn't feel like that to me as we cruised in our nice bus from Bangkok to the border...but then we got to the border. And it is called rainy season for a reason. SOAKED and wearing white linen trousers. Erroneous behaviour. At least I had my pink anorak (yep, I looked well fit). And then, once finally into Cambodia, in Poipot, we realised we were going to have to get a car to drive us to Siem Reap. 5 hours away. So in we popped with a couple of lovely chappies - Markus from Germany and Christoph from Switzerland - into a car that had a nice big crack down the wind screen, the front right tyre kept going flat, and not a lot of suspension. At least there was a good stereo. Shame there was no road to speak of. A river of mud as the rain lashed down ensured continual stops for the driver to give the headlamps a nice rinse off. But we arrived eventually. Just about.

Siem Reap is cool! And the Cambodian people are just lovely. They are so very sweet and friendly. Hmm. Cambodia appears to be somewhat different to the ol' Pattaya. Buzzing to be back on the backpackers trail, the first day we managed to potter around a market and buy some stupid trousers and a dress that has been described as; a poncho; a choir boy; interesting; pyjamas; ok for Cambodia but not for home...and so forth. I still wore it out that night....sporting my new hair cut - CAMBODIA STYLE! hehehe. $2 for a trim. Brilliant. I spit in your face, Toni & Guy. Mwahahahahahaha. So, with our new European buddies, we indulged in a spot of vino, before stepping out to the imaginatively named 'pub street' and basically, got a bit drunken. But I tried to get home with my friend...and we got lost...the tuktuk driver dropped us in the middle of no-where...so we had to stay in another guesthouse until the next day!! hahahaha. God I felt rough. But the reason people go to Siem Reap, is simply because it is the gateway to the monumental, Temples of Angkor. As the Lonely Planet articulately depicts, 'Angkor Wat is more than just an astounding architectural feat; it is the national symbol...it is a sumptuous blend of towers and sky, a magnificent spellbinding shrine to Vishnu with its captivating image replicated in the reflective lake below.' Sounds pretty impressive, eh? And there were lots of temples situated in the area around the main focal point, including the setting for Tomb Raider! After a good 5 hours tinkering about, it was definitely time for a brew!! And then a bottle of vino. Again. So what if we had to get up a 5.45am to catch our bus on time....yeah, feeling a little less than hot right now after 3 hours sleep and 9 hours of travelling. For we have made our way from West Cambodia to Central Cambodia. Kratie is in fact where we are. And we are trying to not eat chocolate and be good. Better get another brew down me then...

Aye Carumba!!! Sangsom Buckets a-hoy!!!

Woooooosh!

Well, I tell you what! I blinkin' whirlwind of a fortnight I have had! Many an unexpected thing has happened, but it has been amazing - for a change.

So, Langkawi, Malaysia. Yippers, had amazing times with new peeps - namely Paula from Liverpool (but lived in Spain for the last 5 years) and Leeroy from Cambridge (lived in Cambodia for the last 5 years). And we were team 'Sigmoid Collectomy', respectfully named after my delightful tummy operation which we decided would be an excellent name for a rock band. HARDCORE MAN. We mooched about on the beach and caught some rays in the days and munched on local delicacies in the evening - although we did have to persuade the local Muslim restaurant that it was cool for us to drink our lovely bottle of wine in their restaurant....we bought our own glasses! Perhaps the most memorable outing was in fact on the Friday night, where we ventured out to the local Reggae bar', much to Lee's joy since he (allegedly) despises this class of music. But, after a few lovely crisp white vinos, I was soon hitting the dance floor with a circle of Malay rastas accompanying me! Hehehe. All the action was being avidly shot by our new friend, EK (lovely guy from Kuala Lumpa who was on his holidays), whilst we wiggled along with the locals. Comedy.

The next day, fully armed with extensive hangovers, the enthusiastic EK persuaded us that it would be a good idea to escape Pantai Cenang, and go on a nice big cable car to the top of Gunung Machincang. A three tier system, the cable car staggers the viewing of the gradually ever increasingly impressive views of the surrounding areas. It allowed a spectacular 360-degree panoramic view of the Langkawi islands as well as dramatic views of the deep chasms, overhangs cliff walls, isolated pinnacles and some caves. Wasn't so great for Lee (again) since he is mortally terrified of heights and had to take Valium or something to chill out!

Next stop is Geargetown, Penang. Sigmoid Collectomy landed and went straight to the delightful Mr.Ken's. Mr. Ken is indeed the most crazy Chinese chap I believe I have ever encountered. And he is a legend. He drove me around for hours trying to retrieve my passport (issues with Chinese visas - don't ask) and then proceeded to take me out on a day trip of the back of this rented motor-bike. Lovely times. We went to a beautiful temple, Wat Chaiya Mangkalaram (Thai:วัดชัยมังคลาราม), and is a Thai Buddhist temple in George Town, Penang, Malaysia, most notable for its Reclining Buddha statue. Then we ventured forth to his favourite place on the island, Titi Kerawang Waterfall. It was very nice, but I think what made it was his little dance in the water which I videoed, which includes him singing a song to our dear Paula who wasn't there (and was in fact having her handbag stolen at a restaurant at the time with all cards and passport in). Bless him.

And then it was time for me to go and rejoin my lovely ladies in the land of Thai and to crack on with some full moon party entertainment. They, however, actually managed to go the wrong way after leaving me in Malaysia and so had spent many a drunken night in Kho Samui with some lovely chaps we met in Singapore. After a gruelling 24hours of travel and broken sleep, I finally arrived on Kho Phangnan and found my lovelies on Ban Tai beach - and got straight on the beers. Well, we definitely started as we meant to go on.

FULL MOON PARTY! Comedy value. Got boozy on our beach and then sang all our way to Hat Rin (beach where the party takes place), and we were greeted by excessive amounts of Samsung buckets (yes, the rocket fuel concoction of Thai whiskey, coca-cola and THAI redbull), and my god, it knocks your proverbial hat off!! Recall finding a few of our buddies that we met in Bali, covered ourselves in glow-in-the-dark paint and danced the night away until the sunrise. And Klo was laughing. She laughed a lot. And so did Sami. Special shakes all the way, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaann. So - been up for 24hours at this point as I wiggled on the sand as the sun rose....and then we went to find Colin and Adam, the guys who we met in Singy-pore and KloSam chilled with in Kho Samui and basically spent the day monged on the beach and drinking banana milkshake. DELICIOUS!! And then I realised I had been awake for 39 hours and it was time for bed.

As the 'tards didn't go to Kho Pi Pi the first time round, they decided that was to be their next destination. But being the well versed traveller that I am, I've already been and couldn't face the prospect of another 24 hours travelling...so Klo, Sami and Colin mooched off to the Pi Pi, whilst Adam and I headed for Kho Tao. It is sooooooo beautiful. Stayed on Sariee beach for the first couple of days...and got a quad bike to explore the island! And my goodness, I'm glad he didn't tell me that he'd never driven one before until AFTER we arrived at Mango Bay because those roads were more than rocky!! Snorkel, snorkel and then watched 'Knocked up' back at the beach...SO FUNNY! Then we scooched down to Chalok Baan Koa to do a spot of scuba scuba! Yippers, went back to Buddha View diving!!! Hurrah! However, I have never been out on such a rocky rocky boat. And Adam was sick. But the diving was nice. Some some wicked corals, but unfortunately, no shark.

Then came the journey from Hell. Returning back to mainland Thailand (Champhon) in order to be reunited with the ladies. A boat. Delayed. After already being rocked dans le matin for diving, and then two hours of rough sea. I was sick. In public. In a clear plastic bag. The shame. Followed by a 12 hour bus journey to Bangkok to arrive at 5am.

And then It was Sami's last couple of days. Sob. So we spent the entire time on Khao San road. Shopping. She didn't have any presents. But then we got drunk. And offered roles as extras in a Japanese movie!! So, as Sami Sami walked off down Khao San for the last time (I felt a stab of sadness to see her little back wander into the crowd, for it was the first time she was actually on her own), Klo, Colin and I headed off to a 5 Star hotel to shoot a movie! Nope, not that kind of movie....And it was wicked!! 1920s style hairdos and amazing dresses and make-up! The nicest we've looked the entire time travelling!!

Alors, a little bit longer in Thailand. But without our dear Sami. WE LOVE YOU SAMI!!! We'll miss you - and your random comments, your cheeky smile and, of course, Janet's phone calls.

The next chapter begins...

Dante's Divine comedy. And some.

Yes, yes. the classical tale of heaven, hell and purgatory, but with a KloSamFlynn twist in Asia. Sweeeet.

Well, Jakarta was fine. Lovely. Had a Manchester United restaurant and I got my nose pierced. Lovely.

Then we landed in Purgatory. More affectionately known as Singapore. To those in the know, 'The Inn Crowd'. The coolest little hostel to grace this side of the hemisphere. Free Internet, dvd player, breakfast included and a lovely dorm full of lovely people...rearing to get on the lash. It was like coming home. And that is what it became. We successfully managed to squander 5 great travelling days doing precisely nothing (yes, that is when all those photos bombarded facebook). Lush. Sami and I even bought stilettos for the occasions of boozy times. Vodka in the dorm (illicitly, of course) and then minimal dollar spendage once out and about. And the bars were amazing. There was the reputable 'Clinic' which sported bar staff in nurse and doctor uniforms, and...wait for it...wait for it.....wheel chairs for, well, chairs!!! I got a wicked handbrake turn down on the old bugger, only to be told by a somewhat ruffled doorman, "the chair is not for fun." What?? A gold air sprayed chair with wheels not for fun?! haha. I wheeled off into the clinical horizon (and then was caught and ejected from said non-fun chair). But this is not all...our dear Sami indeed live up to her name of 'Sami the Saviour' by being the bearer of FREE STUFF! Basically, got into this club for free, chatted to the owner (of 1/3 of the bar) and gt free champers, vodka and vino for the rest of the night! Sami, we salute ya!! Flash packers are us!
Once we finally managed to tear ourselves from our lovely abode in Singapore (quite reluctantly, it must be said), it was to Kuala Lumpa, the capital of Malaysia for us. Again, a lovely city with some striking towers, but we'd seen enough of cities, so we moved on pretty sharpish. It also appeared to have a strange effect on our Sami. She decided to bless us with a lovely breakfast - of frosties and strawberry milk (surprisingly, she didn't find it went down that well). Sami moment.

Hell.
Well, not really. Mostly for Sami. And Teresa (lovely Hong Kong girl that joined us). For now we we in Taman Negara. The oldest rain forest in Asia. Claiming to possess elephants and tigers...but we found leeches and ants the size of your thumb. Lush. We decided to laugh in the face of organised fun (mainly cos it cost a blinkin' wedge) and so, Klo, Sami, Duke (dutch chappie) and Teresa (as above) and I caught a boat up into the rain forest and began our own trek, complete with vague map and vague notions of what jungle might be like. We eventually arrived at our hide (big hut on stilts) after being soaked by what is obviously the reason for the name, 'rainforest' (which was particularly unfortunate for Chloe, as she didn't have a water-proof. She didn't have her blanket in a plastic bag. But her main concern was keeping her sandwich dry. Excellent priorities). And that night....whilst rats tap-danced on the roof of the hide and tiger roared (nope, both Klo and I mistook the rumbling roar of the hide whilst people walked about to be a tiger. Oh dear.), we saw an ant eater come out into the open and munch - official name being Tapir. COOL. And saw fireflies buzzing about. The sound of the jungle too...blinkin' cool.


The next day, we battled through thick vegetation, I ripped my trousers to the crotch, 5 mintues after proclaiming the at her 1 Pound Indonesian trainers were the best investment ever, Klo found that they had actually disintegrated and that her sandwich bag wasn't going to keep the leeches out. And there were LOADS of leeches. Got a good picture of a juicy one on my leg. Yummy.

Heaven.
After taking on the trials and tribulations thrown at us by the jungle, we felt that we were in need of a little holiday. Quite right. Tough work this travelling bloody malarkey. So to the Perhantian Islands we went. Long beach - paradise. Crystal clear waters, white sands and cheap accommodation and food. Lush. And the tans had pretty much vanished so a good top up was in order. Then some diving. SO CHEAP! Yes, yes, I managed to actually swim next to a hawks bill turtle and saw a crazy tiger fish, and then on the second dive, all three of us saw a ship wreck! A Vietnamese fishing boat covering in lovely corals, and we saw sea serpents and poisonous rock fish. Uber cool!

But heaven was fleeting, and after only 2 days in paradise, due to a short time schedule, we headed to Kota Baru. Checked out some Malaysian culture, and I tried out Malay drums and top spinning and was enchanted by 'The art of self-defence', whilst Sami and Klo were on their way to Thailand. Yes, we are no longer together. But only for a little while, do not despair. They are off to Kho Pi Pi and since I have already graced those paradise lands (yeah, yeah, showing off), I decided to head west to the island of Langkawi by myself. Terrorised by young children on the bus for 9 hours, I escaped onto the last ferry and arrived at Cenang beach just in time for a much needed glass of Chardonnay and a tuna salad. Lush. Since then I've slept loads on the beach, been awoken by a) the LOUDEST snoring man I've ever heard (my bed shook. Honest). b) drunken lads after the football, and been island hopping around three of the 99 islands around Langkawi. And getting boozy with some lovely peeps ce soir on duty free Voddy. 5 quid for a litre bottle of Smirnoff.

Thank you very much.

Java Jaunts

Another week, another medley of adventure. Eeee, getting better at this blog malarkey, eh?
Well, we come bearing tales of Java, a larger island to the west of Bali. We had been warned of the Javanese people…how they were bad and ‘of different decent’ to the Balinese. Cynical as I was, once that many people tell you to ‘be careful’, you really think may have to…but then again, people say that about the Welsh (no offence, Jeff), and they are actually alright. For you see, Bali is predominately Hindu, whereas good ol’ Java is mainly Muslim. Basic racism slowly becomes apparent. Everyone here (as I suspected) as lovely and simply as inquisitive and friendly as those in Bali – it is just many women wear headscarf’s, whereas in Bali, there were offerings of flowers in bamboo leaf bowls scattered all over the show in Bali. It is true, Bali was perhaps a bit more magical with its impromptu temples sprouting out everywhere (even being converted into tourist accommodation), but there aren’t any stray dogs desperately trying to inflict rabies on us in Java. Just the call to prayer at 4.30am.

Prodolingo – a day there was interesting. Waiting for the night bus to Jogjakarta, we went for an explore around this little town in East Java – and we experienced what it may well be like to be minor celebrities! Quietly, entering into the town square, we see some sort of Scout event with several schools standing to attention whilst the local governor gave a particularly stern sounding speech (local and general elections are coming up in Indonesia next month). But, slowly, we became the centre of attention for about 40 or more children (difficult to discern whilst teetering on a kerb), and slowly, they surrounded and pounced. Hundreds of beady eyes came ever closer, then ‘click, click, click’ of cameras began…cute but relentless, to say the least! Felt a bit weird having so many people staring at you…and then they all got load and excited, so Klo, Sami and I were escorted out of the park!!

Then to Yogya – the cultural heart of Java, according to the bible (Lonely Planet, obviously). Four days to play and investigate the famous temples around and about. But Sami began to feel somewhat under the weather. Being the good friends we are, Klo and I recommended a day in bed for Sami and a day out on a bejak (bicycle powered carriage – poor bloke) around the city for us. We saw a puppet maker, cruised about the city and saw batik, the local print of Indonesia where wax is placed on the fabric, thus protecting the pattern from the dye it is then dipped into, viewed the government exhibition of student art from across Indonesia, and treated ourselves to a piece of batik artwork – mine pictures Rama and Sinta, the Indonesian equivalent of Romeo and Juliet, but a tale of a Hindu decent, as opposed to the Bard. Then munched on the fine foods of a street vendor with some people we had picked up on the way….and ate the most delicious deep fried doughnut thingy, ever! Yum!

Alas, on our return, the Sami-Salts was looking to hot. Turns out, flowing an injection in the arse and a thorough going-over by the doctor, that she had Gastroenteritis. Poor sod. Must have been that cheese sandwich! Haha. A course of anti-biotics and tedium was prescribed. Next day, I went to Prambanana, a massive Hindu temple top the east of Yogya. Got the public bus with the locals (3000RP – about 20p) for an hour bus out to the temples. And they were stunning. Amazing to just potter about and absorb the atmosphere of such striking architecture. And I looked like a hippy with fisherman trousers, white cotton top (think Enrique Iglesias), beads and bangles. Groovy baby.
Sunday. Sami is feeling significantly better, s a trip out to Yogya palace to see a classical dance was on the cards. And we were accosted by several members of the public for a photo with them (more celebrity moments – they begin to grate after a while). Then a water castle, purchasing of leather bags, getting my nose pierced and some ice-cream from McDonalds (it cannot be helped after a while. Only my second one, mind!). Lovely times and lovely day.
Last day in Yogya today and we went out to Borobudur temple – the Buddhist temple that has been acknowledged as a World Heritage site, and built around 650-850 AD. Massively impressive and beautiful….see what Cambodia has to challenge it!! Got chatting to a female monk whilst knocking about the symbolic nirvana point and she is one of 6 Buddhist monks in Thailand, and there are only 2 in Indonesia! She is leading the monk revolution for more lady monks! Hurrah! Hehehe. The Ozzie guy was obviously just taking his trip to the temple a bit serious – he donned an orange robe and EVERYTHING! Hahahaha – good one Klo, he has actually been a monk for 14 years! Hahahahahahaha.

Off to Jakarta now…then Singapore on Wednesday! WE LOVE INDONESIA. Although I could kill for a bowl of cereal.

Scuba, cycling, dancing, trekking - action kids

Hey, hey, hey!

Another attempt at uploading photos onto Facebook, another blog. Works beautifully.
Alors, been In Indonesia for 2 weeks now and we LOVE IT! Arrived at Sanur (South-East coast of Bali), to catch the notorious boat across to the little island of Nusa Lambongan. Alas, we had missed the early morning public boat so we thought we would sit tight in Sanur for a day in the sun...and it so happened to be a massive public holiday! Hundreds upon hundreds of Balinese descended upon the beach. Oblivious whilst armed with iPod and novels, we slowing began to realise we were in fact the only white ladies on the beach amongst a sea of locals. COMEDY! Must admit, we were the subject of a few gazes! So, highly conspicuous, we nabbed ourselves some local delicacies, including grilled corn on the cob, spring rolls with peanut sauce and a strange bowl of chicken balls and noodle soup. Interesting to say the least.

Early the next morn, we set sail on the public boat to Nusa Lambongan, scuba diving and er....well, not much else. The blinking place didn't even have an ATM so we had to make our Rupiah last! Pineapple for brekkie?? And the diving was SPECTACULAR. Despite the fact our dive instructor was a bit miserable, we had fun....although Klo and Sami weren't instilled with massive amounts of confidence before sitting their PADI Openwater test...at least there were cute puppies to keep them entertained. I am now apparently 'Advanced'. Ha. Hmm. Did an amazing 27/8m dive (anything more than 18m down is classed as a deep dive)...and we saw a turtle. Elegant and graceful. Brilliant. But that is not to undermine the magical, underwater world, laced with traffic of thousands of fish. Scribbled filefish, Crosshatch triggerfish, Blacktipped soldierfish, Imperial Angelfish, to name but a minute few. The corals were rich and varied, and on the last couple of dives we went down a 'wall'. Basically, like a mountain side, but that drops down deep into the ocean and is composed of corals, big and small, red and pink and orange, all interlaced with rainbows of fish and marine life. Also did a 'drift dive' along this stretch - a dive which you basically let the current pull you along - and we ended up 1.5km from where we started in 30mins!! Crazzzeee.

I also took myself on a little bicycle ride around the island as the other beauties lay asleep in our hut. Observed the seaweed farmers, women weaving palm leaves for the offerings that are made everyday, the bamboo catamarans that line the shore and the intricate architecture of the temples. Tired after though - blinkin' hilly!

After all this hard work and with a distinct lack of cash...we ventured out with our new friends, Jack, Celena and Co. and got on the Bintang beer. Well, we had 1 and 1/2 between us. But, wait...2 truely bogan Ozzie boys came to save the day and subsequently shouted all our Bintangs and we were away! I think Sami even got a free egg toastie. FREE STUFF! hahahahahaha
Didn't make the boat journey any the better at 8 the next morn (which, of course, we nearly missed). The make home to Kuta, then land of party and plenty. And I hibernated in preparatino for the night. All day in fact. A bought of Bali Belly, no less. Shh. Didn't happen to me. The on the lash that night (again) with money (a bit) and met with our Lambongan buddies...and threw ourselves in the pool at the club as the local cool kids looked on. Soggy, soggy, soggy! And filled up with Arak Attack (the local spirit...yummy).

Then up again. Early. Hungover.

And in a bus to Ubud - the cultural capital of Bali. And home to some rather striking jewellery too!! As we pottered around the market, a rather attractive looking Australian chap came over to us and asked how long we had been in Bali, and if we would like to appear on an Ozzie holiday program. Ha - sweaty, just about escaping the clutches of hangover and dazed by the sparkly things before us, I managed to blag that we possessed some form of knowledge about Bali and about bartering. Think it work. Emma and Laura - keep an eye out for our TV debut (well not mine. But enough said about that). Markets, shops, art galleries, wood carvings, chilling out, walking long walks around Ubud and the surrounding villages (well, for me. It rained and no-one else wanted to come), seeing the Elephant caves, eating really good Nasi Gerang and generally having a lovely time. Said good-bye to our chums, Harry and Rach (who we shall be reunited with in Singapore) and off to Java were we.

Arrived in Bondowoso yesterday and set off at 5am this very morning to hike up Kawah Ijen. An active volcano with a sulphur lake in its cone which glowed turquoise in the sunlight...when the clouds of sulphur were blown away from us. Cough Cough. That is, once we finally got to the top...a member of our party claimed to have Bali belly, but maybe she was just slower than the rest of us....I blame the apple. It was so crazy watching miners carrying 70kg (mum - that is over 3times the weight of my backpack) of solidified sulphur up out of the volcano crater and then all the 3km down the side of the mountain. Phew. We were tired just carrying ourselves! Amazing thing to see though - not so great to inhale. The our lovely guide decided to take us to the local University. Hmm. A bit like a run-down comprehensive with about a total of 50 books in the library. But what they lacked in equipment, the teenagers made-up for in staring and giggling. Hmm. Think Sam the Guide felt quite the pimp. At least he bought our dinner.